QUOTES!

[Shini]

Don: You probably think my character's a girl
Brian: Probably
Davin: You can't be a girl! You don't have an egg sac!

Jack: Of course! My many dealings with pirates have taught me much about the seas!
Shini: Make a Blatent Bullshittery check
Jack: A million!

"Aw! that sounds like tentacles" -Alex

Paul: Jack? What happens when PCs ask for something too much?
Jack: They GET IT. The raptor monkeys were worth it though

Don: I wish we hadn't killed him. I feel bad now
Alex: No you don't
Don: I'm obligated to feel bad, it's my Alignment!

"Let's just let Grath'arro eat a bunch of jalapenos, let him deal with it" -Shini

"I'm going beyond useless, I'm into counter-productive" -Davin

Davin: Actually, none of you really know me, or really like me
Brian: I have no problem with you
Shini: You saved me once
Davin: Kind of. I called you my retarded niece
Shini: Eh. Sticks and stones

Brian: He's running away from an air elemental
Ina: What's an air elemental?
Shini: A very dangerous puff of air
Don: Seriously, how do you hit that?
Shini: ...Acid splash

Don: This doesn't look good. I think maybe I should go back the way I came
Shini: make a Knowledge No-Shit check

Shini: How do you hit an air elemental with an axe?!
Brian: We'll SEE how!

Ina: You're fighting a little breeze!
Brian: I told you, we're battling a very angry fart

Davin: Chaotic Stupid
Shini: Chaotic Retard

Shini: The paladin and the bard sit and whine a little
Jack: Great. The paladin composes an emo song
Shini: And the bard sings it
Don: I'll get my banjo!

Jack: I think I have prestidigitation left
Shini: You can dazzle it! Razzle dazzle, even!

Paul: What are you complaining about? You're trapped underground!
Davin: with evil things all around!
Shini: It's just like home!

"I wanna see a drow with seasonal-effective disorder. 'Why can't I see the sun?!'" -Jack

"The way you said it, you made me wanna die!" -Alex

Shini: You're gunna get fuxxored and I'm not gunna be able to help you
Brian: I can run away!
Shini: What's your Intelligence?
Brian: My Intelligence is I-Can-Run-Away

"I just cry. I roll nat 20s in Cry" -Shini

Davin: What? I have no idea what you're talking about
Tiff: Laughing, actually
Shini: Giggling, in fact
Davin: Chortling, if you will

"I make a Will save to avoid peeing my pants. ...I fail" -Jack

Shini: Did you just jump on the paladin's back?
Davin and Don: Yes
Davin: It worked with the half-orc, it'll damn well work with him!
Don: Plus I'm prettier than the half-orc, so...

Paul: Roll a Search check and a Reflex save
Shini: Roll a Chicken Reflex save?

"My spellbook definitely has dirty pictures in it" -Jack

"Hey, you're white now! Let's do it" -Don

Shini: Why are you poledancing?!
Don: ...I don't know!!

Don: I am Fuck! Fuck of the Mountain!
::silence::

Shini: What's your problem?
Brian: Your insanity
Shini: That is a problem

Shini: Oh you
Brian: Oh no

Jack: 'Hey paladin! Wanna lollipop?' 'Where'd it come from?' 'Nowhere' 'Ok...' 'Haha, joke's on you! I stole it from a child!'
Brian: No more paladin powers!
Jack: 'Hmm, it doesn't DETECT as evil...'
Don: 'That's funny, I can't cast spells anymore'

"It's like a kobold corn dog" -Don

"I'll just do what I do with my alarm clock -- I'll rip its head off" -Don

"I don't like 'asshat'. There are so much better insult combinations. Like 'cock-toboggan'" -Jack

"And the dragon's like 'Oh. Ok. How bout a hug?'" -Shini

Don: Can I have a cookie? I desperately want a cookie
Shini: No. If I gave you a cookie, I'd have to give everyone a cookie
Jack: Plus, if you gave him a cookie, obviously he'd want a glass of milk
Shini: Exactly. If you give a paladin a cookie
Jack: He'll give it to charity and still want a glass of milk, so he can give that to charity too

Don: I put on my armour
Shini: I put on your FACE
Davin: That's hot

Don: I have a +9 to Handle Animal
Shini: You Handle Animal reeeeeeeal gooooood
Don: Yeah. I handle my horse's penis all the time ::eye roll::
Shini: ...You killed the funny! You took away the euphamism
Bree: You euthanized the euphamism

"I think every time you cast Otto's Irresistable Dance, a disco ball should appear" -Don

"You are going to get celestially assfucked. That's pretty epic" -Shini

Paul: YES!
Brian: What is it?
Don: An illithid?
Jack: A dragon?
Don: An illithid riding a dragon?
Bree: With a Tarrasque sidecar?

Shini: Don, are you a tool?
Don: ...Uh...
Shini: Answer truthfully!
Don: A Tool of BAHAMUT!

[brie]

So, I'm reviving this thread as the official "random funny shit said in the game" location. Here are some gems from the games between the above dates. Enjoy, I prolly gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome typing all of these



9/25
Don- *smack* "Can't you see I'm being merciful here?!?!?"

Gabe- (about a dire weasel) "I wanna pet it, can that be my move action?"

Gabe- "I pet it on the nose with 3 magic missiles"

Don- "well, I've never actually been mounted before"
Gabe- *ahem* "I'm going to get a drink"




10/11
Gabe- "I blow chunks at one point"
Brian- "Not. It."

Brian- "tra-la-la, tra-la-lee! And everyone died except for me!"

Brian- (to alex) "You die, I get your stuff"
Paul- (to alex) "You die"
Alex- "Ha! I have no stuff!"
Brian- "I get your paladin!"
Alex- "Noooooo!"

Brie- "it’s the gay-paladin-shimmy!"

Brian- (to gabe) "So back to important things, your sister. She's like you, but older?"

Brian- "Aaron likes to polish his sword in front of dragons"

Don- "poof! Horse"

Paul- "What are you guys whispering about? Oh look, 300 sense-motive."

Brian- "Bluff of… yes"



10/18
Don- (referring to drawing character portraits) "I get paid in experience points, which is like imaginary money."

Gabe- "Have you seen my pimp hat?" (later) "Is there an amateur strip contest anywhere?"

Don- "I don't know how many times I've been happy about having a ten-foot pole."
Gabe- "I don't want to hear about your sex life"

Don- "No one misunderstands me, ok!"

Don- "I ready a lance, because its fun, and I get to stab things."

Brie- (eating gummy worm paul used as monster) "Ahh, the sweet taste of victory."
Tiff- "Literally!"

Paul- (loud, long, deep burp)
Tiff- "For grossing us out, you owe us xp

Don- "The paladin's like 'ooh, this will be fun, and educational! Wait, why is she getting naked?'" (someone had made a joke about the female characters "doctoring" each other after combat)

Alex- "Can I roll Use Magic Device to make the paladin heal people?"
Don- "I am not a device!"
Brie- "No, just a tool"

Don- (detecting evil) "I keep concentrating on him, I want to see if I can get blown off my horse."

Don- "Oh, he's hiding his alignment, that ok"
Brie- "What is this, the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy for NPCs?"

Tiff- "It’s a druid thing"

Gabe- "Magic missiles. Fuck you bitch"

Don- "Is it resistance to stabby-ness?"
Paul- "Is it resistance to death?"

Don- "Ow! Just in case anyone was wondering, ow!"

Nate- "Sneak attack! I'm indivisible!"

Don- If I dimension door on top of it, and fall on it with my lance, does that count as a charge?"

Paul- (on laptop, which goes dark when unattended) "Shake mouse, why doesn't the light go back on!!!" (the lights went off in the room)

Paul- "Your computer lied to me!"
Brie- "I told you, the clock is set fast"
Paul- "You think I listen to you?!?"

Gabe- (to Brie) "pssst, TAG!" *casts invisibility*

Brie- "I think I'm going to be stupid, what's the bonus?"

Brie- "That could have been worse."
Paul- "Make a grapple check."
Nate- "There's the worse."

Alex- "See, you can get to his throat more easily, 'cause you're in it.

Nate- "Hmm, what am I going to do? I'm going to get out of its mouth."
Gabe- "Are you?"
Don- "But you could build a nice summer home in there!"

Don/Alex- "Got a little dragon in you? Would you like to?"

Don- (to gabe) "Just so you know, I can slay you instantly"
Nate - "With his big, long, lance."

Nate- "I'm your meat shield! I'm the paladin's meat shield!"
Brie- "That's different…."

Gabe- (screams at monster) "Let go of my boyfriend!"
Nate- "Wait a second…"

Don- "Can I do a limit break on it?"

Paul- (to don) "You pin it to the wall."
Alex- "And it turned into a druid? I hate it when that happens…"

Don- (Nate hides under horse in combat) "Make a reflex save against pee!"

Paul- "There is nothing you can do to make an Asimar paladin ugly. It is the definition of pretty, to the nth degree. Pretty race, pretty class, with an ability called grace."

Don- "I disguise myself as a gazebo."

Paul- (as mindflayer, to tiff) "Stand in front of the paladin"
Don- "See, now I wish I had cleave."

Nate- "While its eating your brains, I can sneak attack it!"

Paul- "Just let me eat alex!"
Alex- "I'm so delicious!"


(no, I have no idea why there were so many for the last session, someone must have put crack on those chips or something)